Mama's Back--And So Is Her MEMORY!

Hey Friends,

We found Mama. I knew exactly where she'd turn up--with her limited memory and all (thanks to the amnesia). Cunt Face pulled my car into Jackson Trailer Park and my heart felt sick. I missed it so--I never imagined I would. I wanted so desperately to get out of there but living in a "fancy" Mobile Home Estate park isn't all it's cracked up to be. But I digress...

We got out of the car, bracing ourselves against the harsh winter wind. I held Starla close so the cold wouldn't hit her face. We didn't bother knocking on Mama's trailer door, we just opened it and went inside and there she was, sitting in the partially-burned living room, looking through a box of photos, letters and other trinkets of the past.

"Mama?" I said, apprehensively. When Mama had her memory, she was unpredictable as all hell, but without it, I really had no idea what I was in for. A smile, a frown or a bottle being heaved at my head!

She looked up and our eyes met. Tears were flowing down her face.

"Trasha...Cunt Face...I remember."

I was shocked at the disappointment in her voice--I thought she'd be thrilled when her memory returned. But, it hasn't been such a good road for Mama, so I don't know what I was thinking. She was probably much happier living in the dark. Now that she remembered her life, she had to face it and let's be real: if there is one thing we Whites avoid at all costs, it's facing our demons.

"Oh, Mama..." I said, handing Starla to Cunt Face. I sat next to Mama on the sofa and held her in my arms. Her sobs increased and the photos she was holding in her hand fell to the ground.

When she pulled away to wipe her nose on her sleeve, I bent down and picked up the pictures. They were of her in a wedding dress with a man I did not recognize.

"Is this...Jacob's father?" I asked.

She nodded. "Yep, that's him all right. Oh, Trasha, I tried--I really did. I tried to be the perfect housewife and mother, but I failed. I fucked my whole life up and I have no one but myself--and your good for nothing father--to blame for it. I wish I had steered clear of him, but he just charmed the pants off of me: literally."

"So, you're saying Daddy busted up your marriage to Jacob's father?"

She nodded and then snorted loudly, swallowing her phlegm. "Yep--I was young and stupid and frankly BORED. Your father was like a snake oil salesmen and I fell for him in a blink. Jacob's daddy was proper, with solid morals and a good upbringing. Your daddy was wild, untamed and dangerous. Little did I know just how dangerous he was. I used to sit and wonder what my life would have been like if I had just resisted that urge..."

"Mama, you can't change the past. If you stayed with Jacob's daddy, you never would have had us."

She looked at me with a blank stare.

"OK, bad example."

Cunt Face sat on the other side of Mama.

"Would you like to hold Starla?" She asked her.

I felt a twinge of jealousy--Mama's amnesia brought Starla and I together and now that Mama had her memory back, she would no doubt want Starla. Could I let her go?

"Oh yes!" Mama exclaimed. "Come here darling--Gran-Gran has missed you something awful!"

Starla laughed with glee; she really did love Mama. How could I blame her? Mama raised her. I just birthed her and sold her off on the black market. How could I lay any claims on that child, regardless of how I feel about her now?

We sat there for a while, in silence. I looked down at the box Mama had been rifling through.

"So, now that you have your memory back, are there any other kids out there or previous husbands we should know about?" I asked.

Mama laughed. "Oh, Trasha--a woman has to have her secrets. Sorry for not telling you all about Jacob sooner...I'm not exactly the ideal mother--I fucked you all over real bad. I don't know if any of you will ever forgive me."

Cunt Face wrapped her arms around Mama. "I forgive you!"

Mama smiled, leaning into Cunt Face's hug.

Like a good twin, I matched my sister's affection and wrapped my arms around Mama, too.

"I guess I forgive you, too. Unfortunately, you're the only mother I got!"

We held each other for a while. Whether we were just keeping warm or truly showing love to one another, I couldn't tell. Situations are different for everyone, you know? But I will say it's a relief to have Mama back. The next time I throw her out of my trailer, it'll have a bigger impact!

Love,

Trasha