God bless my bladder--I hope I don't piss myself before I tell you what kind of night I just had! Seriously, I am shaking so bad this keyboard is nearly slipping off my TV tray.
Calm down, Trasha.
Or should I call myself: MISS TRASHA WHITE:
That's right ladies and gentlemen--I am finally and officially once and for all a huge God damned (sorry Jesus) motherfucking porn star! The premier of "My Little Pony Fucker II" was a roaring success. The theater was packed--I don't think it's had so many asses in those seats since the 70's, I tell you what. But there they were, packed in row after row. There wasn't a red carpet like I imagined--I was actually ushered in quite quickly and UNstar-like, but I guess bestiality porn is kind of uncool in Detroit.
However, my star status was confirmed during the first twenty minutes of the film. Seeing myself up there, on the big screen, getting railed by that donkey...well, it made me proud. I felt like I had accomplished something with my life and I could point to that screen and say: "That's me. You are hear to watch ME!"
The scenes with me and Shonda doing those lesbian scenes was bittersweet. I knew she was out there somewhere in Witness Protection and if she could, I knew she'd be here tonight, sitting right next to me and Daddy.
Speaking of Daddy, he was just thrilled as all get out that he got to arrive with the very STAR of the film we were all about to see. He held on to my arm and said to people: "This is my daughter--she's the star of this film, you hear? The STAR! There's not a tighter pussy in the business! This gal does her Kegel's! HER KEGEL'S!"
It warmed my heart to make him so proud. With things being so shaky between Mama and me, it's nice to have one parent I can truly count on. He sat there, next to me, and like all of the other men in the theater, he too was masturbating. And when he came, I felt like I had really given him something, you know? Something special.
I'd rather he didn't use my dress to wipe his hands on, though. He just doesn't understand how hard it is to get cum out of a polyester blend.
We left once the film was over, not staying for the blooper reels and deleted scenes from the film, like when I was riding Raul from underneath and he shit all over the place! I'm talking comedy gold, people. I wanted to avoid the throngs of hot and horny men, pawing at me like starved beasts and was lucky enough to do just that. Daddy and I parted ways at his car (we drove separately).
We stood and looked at each other. He grabbed my hands.
"Let's go out and have some drinks--and some coke. Your Daddy hooked up some very clean coke. Come on--let's go, you and me."
"I can't, Daddy..."
He looked at me, like I was a crazy homeless woman or something.
"You can't? I thought you said you and Cain were through--are you still seeing him? Is there something you're not telling me?"
His breath was coming out in hot plumes, burning the frosty winter air. His eyes bulged; he was losing it.
I squeezed his hands. I had to tell him.
"I can't Daddy, not because of Cain...but because...I pregnant, Daddy. I'm gonna have a baby and I can't do coke and drink. Not with this pregnancy at least. I'm trying to do something right for a change and not get hammered while I'm carrying this child."
"You? Give up boozing and drugs just because you're pregnant? I'm surprised you're carrying another kid to term--I thought that Starla was a...supple little fluke. What the hell has gotten into you? It's that black, isn't it? Cain--that black--has got your mind all twisted and crazy!"
"Daddy, no! This has nothing to do with Cain or anybody. This is all me, wanting to become a better person. I have to start somewhere and I'm gonna start with this baby. I know I was a terrible mother with Starla--I drank, I turned tricks, I did whatever drugs were in reaching distance--but I'm changing. You're going to have to respect my decision to not abort this baby and to stay sober during my pregnancy."
He gave me a suspicious look. Hell, I was suspicious, too! I could hardly believe the words that were pouring out of my mouth. What started as a simple way to blow Daddy off was turning into a God's honest confessional. What the fuck, right??!!! All the same, he turned his back on me and got into his car, without saying another word.
Daddy would have to get used to this new me. I mean, it could be his baby I'm carrying for all I know. I didn't really think of that much, with all that has been going on. I didn't think of the most important question I can ask myself:
WHO IS THIS BABY'S FATHER?
Is it:
a) My Daddy
b) Cain
c) Leonard, Cain's business partner
d) None of the above (probably just some John from the truck stop)
What do you think?
Love,
Trasha
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